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Rudolph, M. (2011). HOW TO MAKE A
“If you want to make her laugh,” my Dad urged me “tell her she looks like Loretta Lynn. She likes that.”
I was preparing to say goodbye. Billows of clouds sped past the plane window; I asked her to hold on just a little while longer.
As my brother and my mother and I sat on the king-sized bed of which she took up a mere 80 pounds of space, she said the same thing she always said when she saw me: “You look skinnier, did you lose weight?”
She was always obsessed with losing weight.
The conversation waxed and waned according to her awareness; often times we’d sit and wait for her to open her eyes again.
Eventually, she sat herself up in bed and offered each of us a fragile hug. After many lingering, desperate attempts to stop time, I asked her if she needed help lying back down. She gently instructed me how to elevate her feet and indicated for me to pull the sheet up to her chin so that she might stay warm.
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In the downstairs kitchen, we joined my Grandpa and stood together in silence.
A baby monitor had been set-up so that Grandma could call upon him whenever she was in need of assistance.
Suddenly, I heard a strained version of my Grandmother’s voice coming through the speaker: “Laurennnnn”....she called.
I looked confusedly over at my Grandpa. He smiled a sideways smile and nodded back upstairs, urging me to accept her request. I gathered myself; shaking off what I thought were our final moments to hark back to her room.
Quietly re-entering, I watched a delicate smile purse her lips. “You see those two flowers that hang separate from the rest?” she asked, slackly pointing to a vase of wilting flowers on the dresser beyond her bed.
“I always think they look like little witches feet hanging; that’s what I imagine when I lay here. Like witches boots hanging from thin legs.” I let out a small giggle and pushed the hair away from my face.
Her smile turned into a look of stupefaction, and for several moments she didn’t say anything but fixed her gaze upon me, staring as if in wonderment or concern; I couldn’t quite grasp the expression.
Finally, she broke her eyes from me and studied a spot on her arm.
“Look, here. I got another tattoo today,” she announced, gesturing to a tiny, dark triangular spot near her wrist bone.
She was making small talk. Anything she could think of.
“This was my first one,” she continued, showing me another blotch. “It’s shaped like a heart. I don’t know what it’s from; liver spots, or what.”
Stifling back the urge to burst into woeful tears, I was simultaneously clinging onto the intimacy, the delicacy of this moment. It was just for us. I decided to enjoy it.
“Now you can say you got a tattoo in your life, Grandma.” She chuckled knowingly, understanding the irony of her having always been against tattoos and scorning the rest of our family for getting them.
I walked nearer to her then, bending down to take her hand in mine and survey her green eyes, which contrary to the rest of her body, were shining like calcite crystals.
At last, I stroked her hair. “You look beautiful.”
She smiled a faint smile, her eyes glistening, “Thank you.”
1. I’ll tell you what I’d like my mortal human expression to be.
A gentle presence. Purely compassion.
A solid construction made to soothe others.
I’ve lived a life of service. But not in the way I want.
Yet I know altruism is an impossible trait. I cannot escape my own narcissism, my own selfish inclinations.
I am spoiled. I may not recover.
Perhaps this is what makes me still wake-up tied down by my own weight, A sagging of shoulders, a tiredness behind my eyes.
It's like I'm carrying within me the battle scars of my ancestors.
All I know is that I want to bend the laws of my own body.
2.
The pounding of my feet on ruthless cement has warped my bones.
Already, I feel creaky, like an old house.
Will this body fail me so soon? Sometimes I fear that. Arthritis whispering their sweet nothings in my fingertips.
There is so much to conquer first; so many trails to wind my body around.
I feel I am bent inward lately.
How freeing it would be to raise my spine, to stand fully with the expression of myself?
I am two beings in one. Free and trapped all at the same time.
I make efforts to commune with the dimension in which I’ve been born, But somehow I know this body isn’t the end of me.
It is simply a shell for a soul not yet actualized.
"All I know is that I want to bend the laws of my own body."
From the beginning of this course, I committed to dropping traditional Western discourse on rhetorical practices. Instead, I decided to take on a more Eastern approach. This involved adopting a ritual of mindfulness, of coming to observe a piece of writing in a space of empathy; to meet people, to meet myself, where they are, and where I am, in any given moment, without judgement, and without constructs. I found that by seeing the world through this lens, I went deeper -- while becoming freer in practices which I was raised so rigidly. My calculation came in a form of re-calibration; to constantly realign my inner compass, yet to allow for spaces of difficulty, and to let the classic rhetoric with which I was built upon, slip away. Sift is the process of that upheaval paralleled with metastasis.
"The problem is that when you set up your world in dualistic terms of good and bad, right and wrong, being in control and being out of control, you are going to exclude a lot of perspectives, people, and legitimate spiritual activities." -Dream Yoga
A reflection on reflection
Vol. 1
Poems, essays, and observations on writing, living and healing.
Lauren GrotheSenior Portfolio, USFSP
Spring 2016
GLADYS BARKER GAUER A TRIBUTE TO NEWARK JAZZ CLUBS
hillary can't be trusted.
Pitbull's favorite Cuban food
We all know Pitbull represents Miami and Cuban culture to the fullest, but do we know what his favorite Cuban dishes are? Find out below in this CNN interview from 2014.
"In my writing I focus mostly on my immediate family, but because I’m Cuban, that means a lot of people. My family is big. "There’s plenty to write about."
- Richard Blanco (Cuban American Poet)
Paramount and Leonardo DiCaprio’s company Appian Way have bought the rights to Cuban-American crime saga “The Corporation” with Benicio del Toro attached to star. DiCaprio will produce the film.
The studio and Paramount-based production company won an auction for T.J. English’s upcoming book “The Corporation: An Epic Story of the Cuba American Underworld.”
The story centers on Jose Miguel Battle Sr. (“El Padrino”), the leader of “The Corporation.” Battle served as key operative for Cuban leader Fulgencio Batista, bringing him his cut from the gambling casinos when the mafia ran Cuba.
Battle — also known as the Godfather — escaped to the United States when Fidel Castro took over Cuba in 1959 and was trained by the CIA to invade the country at the ill-fated Bay of Pigs invasion. Having saved the lives of 28 of his men, he started out running a numbers racket and soon moved on to money laundering and murder.
LEONARDO DICAPRIO TO PRODUCE FILM BASED ON REAL LIFE CUBAN AMERICAN MAFIA.
Who is Jay Gatsby? See Pg 2.
The New York TribuneEditor Ron Harold
European nations preparing for war? See Pg 2.
The businessman that has opponents terrified! What is behind his rise to power? Find out on Pg 2
Printed and sold by the New York Tribune and distributories. Any unlawful printing will be met with criminal prosecution. All rights reserved.
Is illegal bootlegging out of control? FInd out Pg 3.
Jay Gatsby: written by Bobby Morse.
Mr. Gatsby grew up in the American heartland, to farmer parents. When he was old enough, he joined our boys overseas and fought in the Great War. He made much wealth returning, most of it in medicine. When asked about what he most looked forward to when returning to the States, Mr. Gatsby simply replied: "There's only one person I want to see." I'll tell you one thing, that person is in for quite an adventure.
Bootlegging: written by Jane Queen. Bootlegging, or the illegal making and transport of alcohol, is becoming a bigger business than authorities previously expected. To combat this, the FBI is creating the Anti Alcohol Commission, which will track alcohol consumption, and try to trace the origin. Hopefully the AAC will rid the streets of this menace soon.
Businessman: written by Jody Ling. Mike Havenforth wasn't always rich. He grew up in a poor town, West of New York City. However, when he was 16, he discovered he had a knack for investing in companies others thought of as failures. He owned his first business when he was 20, and opened up three more locations when he was 24. At the age of 28, Havenforth merged with two of his biggest adversaries, creating Havenforth Incorporated. To this day he has advice for young men and women, and his parents would certainly be proud.
European nations preparing for war:
Written by Kevin O'Brian. Recently, many European nations show signs of mobilization of their armies. Most of the tention is in Central Europe, where the German Republic has been showing signs of aggression lately. A political protester by the name of Adolf Hitler was recently jailed, whether this leads to more will have to be seen. At present, the Tribune thinks all of this will blow over, and this "Hitler" will be wiped away in history.
Gatsby Wild Party: written by Joseph Lish. Another wild bash at Mr. Gatsby's house! Only the most lavish and fasionable guests were invited to this wild party, near New York City. I was there, and I saw no illegal activity. Mr. Gatsby himself was seen with a stunning woman, but when asked about her, Gatsby simply said she was an old friend. I'm sure there's more to that story, but digging into it might not be beneficial.
Plague in India? See Pg 3
Italy turning for the better or worse? Pg 3
What's after the Charleston? The next new dance! Pg 2
Next new dance: written by Winston Spencer. What is the next new dance? The Sliver. The dance has become incredibly popular all over the nation, with nightclubs frequently featuring it in performances. The dance is done by shaking like a snake, hence the sliver.
Italy Changing For Better or Worse? Written by Jonathan Criss.
Ever since the assassination of the Italian king Umberto in 1900, Italy has been somewhat unstable. However, one man looks like he's successfully rallying people to his cause. Benito Mussolini, a man of uncertain origin, has rallied people to his cause. He looks to have remarkable influence in a country where madness is never far. The question is, what will he do with it?
Plague in India: Written by Nancy Sharper.
Not since the 13th Century has Bubonic Plague been so prevalent. Sources in India tell the Tribune that hundreds are already sick, and the disease is likely to spread. The United States, along with Great Britain, France, and many other countries are concerned with this illness. They worry about it possibly spreading to their respective countries, and measures are in place to prevent such things from happening. The Plague is spread by the fleas on rats, and dirty living conditions are prime breeding grounds for rats. Please call you local animal control center if you see a rat that could be harboring the Plague.
An interview wth Mr. Jay Gatsby, Pg 3