damarisann

What defines sex appeal? We turn to billboards, ads, commercials, and many other outlets to show us what it means to be sexy. Portraying a form of flawless beauty, we all grow so accustomed to covet. There are tips and tricks in every corner of the internet on how to enhance beauty, or buy products that claim to. Young women look at starlets with long locks, blemish free faces, expecting to be them, and young girls destroy themselves trying. The harsh reality is so many men and women in the media do not even look like themselves; money truly can fix every uneven line that was naturally drawn. This is how society as a whole functions, sex sells, and it is a journey learning how to decipher the real from the fake and not beating yourself up about it in the process.

 An ugly truth about the media, there is an era for “body types.” Ever notice how the earth shifted when the sexiest body on the planet was hands down a Victoria’s Secret model, and now its women like Eva Longoria or Kim Kardashian. As we evolve and desensitize to certain types of sex appeal, the shock factor lessens and lessens. Now people recognize “stick thin” is not the only figure that demands attention, curvy is back. “There is more to admire, more to love,” people say of bodies like Kim Kardashian. It was cute in the beginning, inspirational even. However, we can’t kid ourselves, right? “Curvy” means perfect big breasts, super-model skinny waist, flowing into a large behind with zero cellulite and sculpted legs. When it is not your job to be beautiful, like it is for celebrities, you have to put less effort into it. This results in normal every day looking women who are society’s true definition of beauty. However, there is a lot to be said for women empowerment and supporting the many different body types and faces. Truthfully, how many of you can say seeing a women posing naked on the cover of a magazine evokes a strong sense of empowerment? Could it be we are going about this all wrong, and actually demeaning our self-worth? In fear of sounding like a feminist, I will counter act by admitting feeling sexy is powerful. On the other hand, why is being sexy confined to showing skin? Can there not be an illuminating sex appeal just by how one carries themselves, or demands attention when entering a room; fully clothed perhaps?

”Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits” (Fey). Tina Fey is just one of many who blatantly and perfectly worded the bitter truth of what is expected of women. Though I personally believe, the pressure is rising for men as well. Men are to be depicted with glistening tans, perfectly sculpted abs, and effortlessly style hair. Most magazines choose not to spend time emphasizing inner beauty, and the genuinely beautiful parts of being human. It appears to cause a ripple effect in humanity. In turn, we choose to care less about the things that last a lifetime, whereas beauty does not.

 Ever remember the line your mom fed you when you were young, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder, honey.” Then you walk away thinking, she is biased. For god’s sake, she told you being president was just as possible of a career as waitressing at the local pub if you have the determination. Reality check, it is true, and mom really does know best. If there really were no ads, no commercials, no media outlets of any kind it would be up to the individual to resolute what they find to be alluring and sexy. If everyone could just step back and appreciate the others differences and beauty, this world would be a much kinder and forgiving place. Body image issues are one of the ugliest parts about fashion and beauty. In the United States alone, 20 million women and 10 million men suffer or have suffered from a clinically significant eating disorder at some time in their life. 35-57% of adolescent girls from ages 10-18 engage in crash dieting, fasting, self-induced vomiting, diet pills, or laxatives (www.nationaleatingdisorders.org). The influence of the media on the proliferation of eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia cannot be disproven. From an early age, we are blasted with images and subliminal messages reinforcing the idea that in order to be happy and successful we must be thin. (www.Raderprograms.com) Fashion models’ weight averaged only 8% less than the average women 20 years ago. Today the average fashion model weighs 23% less than the average woman.

 It is always important to remind yourself it is not wholly about how you look on the outside. Confidence radiates, taking place of anything deemed “unattractive.” It is imperative when changing your lifestyle for the better, to start with how you perceive yourself. If you feel ugly, it will show no matter how much concealer is used. If hating the body you have is the first thing you do when standing in front of the mirror, try shifting those destructive thoughts. The beautiful part of humanity is that we are all so different and unique. There is no one characterization of beauty. With countless body types, hair colors, and facial structures, there should be no envy for what the other has. Yet, it is so ordinary to want what you do not have. Just like mom said, “beauty IS in the eye of the beholder,” do not judge your peers for materialistic purposes or surface related beauty if that is something you struggle with yourself.